Testing..

Hey.  Testing, testing...is this thing on?  *tap* *tap*

For all interested parties..

Mazal tov! :)
To me...and my chassan.

The Difference between Virtual and Reality

It's interesting. This title has been a draft for a very long time, but for some reason I never actually finished writing the post...so it's kind of apropos that I finish it now, as I finish posting.

I've met various people over the course of my short lifetime, and the subject of the Internet has come up quite often. Some people couldn't get along with it, more couldn't get along without it. I worked with someone who had friends from all over the world due to an online game he played, but had very few in real life, because he never actually spent physical time with people. It sorta got me thinking.

Am I like that? Does having a blog, and the ego-boosting comments that go with it, seperate me from real life? Is virtual reality more important to me than real reality?

It really hit home a few days ago (well...now it's a few months ago, but I still remember the event), when it got very personal, and I realized that I don't apply the same standards to myself that I apply to others. If I think that others should spend time with people and not screennames, then I should be doing the same.

I won't deny it. This is very hard for me. I enjoy sharing my thoughts with the world, and seeing the responses of the collective world to them. But I refuse to say one thing and do another. (I might occasionally comment on other people's blogs, though. Or is that hypocritical also? If I know the person in real life, or if I've made such a close connection with them...I'm not sure. I'll have to see.)

I'm still around. My email hasn't changed...

I'm saving this as a draft for a few more days to think about it. I've been around for a while, so it'll be weird to stop. I sure hope that I can, for sooo many reasons.

Later edit: This has been a very important experience for me. I've met and been touched by many people, with whom I truly would like to remain in contact. Again, my email hasn't changed (although I check that email less periodically than I used to).

עלו והצלחו (Rise up and succeed), and may we be truly be zoche to love one another, as well as our incredibly beautiful heritage, and bring a גאולה שלימה בקרוב.

The End?

Having come to the end of another semester, I was going over the blogs on my favorites to see how everyone was doing, and if anything happened over the last 4 months or so. It was interesting to note that out of about 25 blogs that I had been checking regularly, only about 5 had been continuously posting since I'd taken my break for school and work and other such things.

And I've been the same. I'm thinking of stopping. Not necessarily for good, but I certainly won't be posting as regularly as I used to. Real life has gotten to be too important (no, not in that way...y'all would probably know if something happened in that area) - and real people need me.

I can't say that I'll never be here again. Amazing things happen, good things, in this world, and I think it's important that people know about them and share the wealth of positivity, and so I might come back occasionally to do so.

I am going to post a piece above that I wrote quite a while ago when I thought I was going to stop blogging, as it expresses my feelings about the matter in general.

Ups and Downs on the subway

It's so fascinating to me how the subway ride can really teach you so many lessons in בין אדם לחברו. I present for your opinion two cases.

#1: I brought my Chai tea (I don't like coffee, and I need something with caffeine to wake me up in the morning!) on the train as usual one morning. Alas, as I was leaning over to get one of my readings from my bag, it completely flipped over, pouring tea all over me. Sighing, I gently shook my hand off, reaching once again into my bag to pull out a tissue to wipe myself off. As I did this, the lady sitting two seats over from me (the seat between us was empty) blew up, yelling "I don't want coffee on my coat!!" I was already frustrated from spilling, and I hadn't gotten anything on her - although I did get it all over myself...

#2: I was sitting on a rather packed train when two men came on, in the midst of a heated conversation. Unfortunately, one of him chose to wave his hands dangerously close to my head, completely unaware that I was sitting there, as everyone was a bit squished. As I was sitting down while they had to stand for the long ride, I felt like my brief uncomfortableness was dealable. The man facing me, however, didn't agree. He ahemed himself to the men in deep discussion and pointed at me, sitting rather squished in my seat - and the other man apologized profusely, which I graciously accepted ;)

In both cases, someone felt wronged. I just felt like I could be quiet - it didn't hurt me not to yell at the guy, which would have changed the whole tone of his day and mine. The guy who told him off didn't yell at him either - he just quietly pointed at me. I guess it's a difference in the way it's done - you can yell and be obnoxious, making everyone involved feel generally yucky, or you can do it in a quiet, mature way.

I know which one I prefer, having been on both ends of the spectrum...

Ivory Tower Events

Last week I had the opportunity to attend two of what I'm beginning to call "Ivory Tower Events." Since a very wise Ph.D candidate that I know (with whom I attended one of these events) did not understand my colloquial, I will explain here in more detail.

An ivory tower, according to Wikipedia, "designates a world or atmosphere where intellectuals engage in pursuits that are disconnected from the practical concerns of everyday life. As such, it has a slightly pejorative connotation, denoting a willful disconnect from the everyday world; esoteric, over-specialized, or even useless research; and academic elitism, if not condescension by those inhabiting the proverbial ivory tower. In American English usage it ordinarily denotes the academic world of colleges and universities, particularly scholars of the humanities."

[Italics mine.] The irony of the whole bit is that Ivory Tower People, as I call them, would never deign to use Wikipedia as a source, but then again, I never claimed to be one, I just attend their events. These are generally lectures followed by wine and cheese where the rich and the famous of the intellectual world gather around and talk about how many incunables they own, which press just published their latest book, or how they've just returned from a sabbatical at Oxford or other some such institution of greater learning.

I dunno. They just amuse me. Not that I don't love learning myself, and I'd absolutely love to own an incunable (ah, to be able to afford incunabula...), but I just find these self-inflating ego events to be amusing. Enjoyable, yes, but highly amusing.

Quick question, for whoever could answer...

Does anyone know of an awesome family (or two) in Hamilton, ON (or are you an awesome family who lives there)?

If so, please email me (frumactress at gmail). It's a matter of a soul.

Thank you.

In honor of the discovery under the fridge...

As quoted by my sister's bookbinding-minded boss:

In New York City, even if you win the rat-race, you're still a rat.

(Hmmm...maybe it was because we didn't ask advice from the new alien - we needed to hang up a picture of the Mouse Rebbe for protection!)

Fly El Al!

Public Service Announcement:

Okay, so the strike is over - and El Al, amazingly, conceded to the demands. They even have a cosultant rabbi to whom they can ask their Shabbos questions just to make sure that they won't be mechalel Shabbos again.

So my request to y'all: FLY EL AL!! What they did was amazing. They lost a lot because of the strike, and now I think we should support them as much as we can to show them that we do care that they care (It doesn't really matter if it was the money that finally convinced them to comply - the fact that they did finally comply is a big step, and I we should support them).

I think it would be the Kiddush Hashem that would overcome any Chilul Hashem that may have happened from the strike if we can show them that we do support them, overwhelmingly, when they honor Shabbos.

An Ode

I'm not really explaining this. It applies to one person, who didn't mind me sitting on hold while I blew my nose - loudly. If that wasn't you, then you're still a good person, but you just don't get an ode. Too bad.

Every once in a while
Someone makes you smile
And you feel the need to shout
“Hey, you took away my pout!”

So you write a poem that’s sappy
Hope it won’t cause y’all to nappy
To tell the person thanks
For dealing with your cranks.

She's neither Grecian nor an urn
But when I have a bad turn
She’ll (usually) listen to my rant
As she tends to her plant(s).

And so here I show my appreciation
For dealing with my frustration
And being my salvation
And avoiding the temptation of abdication.

Kill him first...

In the Gemara Sanhedrin, 73a (Hat tip, Back of the Hill), there's a discussion over what one should do if he knows that someone is coming up against him to kill him. The final answer: Kill him before he kills you! So...us little people don't have a way to kill Mr. Ahmadinejad, even though he wants to kill us and our people. So what should we do?

Sara Yoheved Rigler at Aish.com looks into our history for when we were in a similar situation, and gives some pretty good ideas for what we can do. Highly recommended.

Warning: This site under construction

Alas, the dangers of modern technology....

So I upgraded my template into the easy Google beta mode, and thereby lost all my past template items...which I can't find anymore. So excuse the mess while I try to remember all the links I had up there. If I linked to you, please email me to remind me, and I'll put you back up. It's not that I don't like you, I'm just very forgetful, and it took me a really long time to make those lists...I'm annoyed. Plus I have to find all the little icons I had and put them back...

If anyone knows how to see the old template (I don't really want to restore it for good, I just want the old stuff...), please please let me know so I can bring it back to normal..

Thanks.

Twain on Jewish Women

I'm reading this fascinating book (now that the semester's over and I have tiiiiime ;) ), called Mark Twain's Jews, by Dan Vogel. I can't say I love the writing, but the content is really interesting - it's about Mark Twain's perception of the Jews, based on his writings. I really liked this quote (p. 32), written during one of his many travels through Europe, after seeing lots of paintings of Mary:

"The Italian artists painted Italian Virgins, the Dutch painted Dutch Virgins, the Virgins of the French painters were Frenchwomen - none of them ever put into the face of the Madonna that indescribable something that proclaims the Jewess, whether you find her in New YOrk, in Constantinople, in Paris, Jerusalem, or in the Empire of Morocco."

What do you think is that "indescribable something"? ;)

TRT Observations

Or as a far away friend would call it..."mind dump." Each of these lines deserve their own blog post, but I think that's a bit overwhelming...and I DO have other things to do...so you'll get the shortened version :)

The slightest smile makes the biggest difference.

Before you call a helpline for anything, make sure that everything possible is plugged in. Otherwise you sound really stupid after talking to customer service for two hours...

Russian sounds like a very unhappy language.

There are so many different people in New York. It's absolutely fascinating. And terribly lonely.

Chewing gum in public, especially with an open mouth, is disgusting and should be banned.

Is setting a mousetrap צער בעלי חיים?

It's very nice to see people learning Torah on the train.

The more people, the more intense the peer pressure.

You know you're living in a Jewish neighborhood when they put a huge menorah up in your apartment lobby (and no tree...)

My Conspiracy Theory

It's very rare that I comment on politics on this blog. The things that I would comment on, everyone else has already said, so I don't think it's necessary. Today, however, I can't hold back - and I don't think this has been said before:

I believe that the Neturei Karta who went to the Holocaust "conference" are not real Jews. I believe that they are people who are dressed up as Jews because they want to make Chassidim specifically, and Jews in general, look bad. Because it was one thing that they were saying that Jews shouldn't consider E"Y the be-all, end-all. But there is no possible way for them to twist Torah to validate their thinking about this. I mean, they're basically condoning, straight out, the murder of thousands of Jews by collaberating with Ahmadinejad. And they're clearly doing it for media attention. So my theory is that they're doing it to get an impression of Jews on TV. Either way, I'm exceedingly disturbed.

And the newspapers that I read over everyone's shoulder on the train are sooooo inflammatory...it's frightening.

Cloud Nine

I went to a shiur today for the first time in a long time. I went specifically because of the speaker, and I was not disappointed. When she spoke, I found myself transformed into a previous life. An old life of mine, idealistic and striving. And I realized that I've been stagnating. I realized what I should be doing, what my goals should be.

I realized that obsession with school does not a better me make, nor does it bring me closer to G-d. That the one thing that drives me, that makes me wax poetic (relatively, anyway), that makes me feel all full inside, is (dun dah dun): Torah. And DOING for my people.

And so, I resolve today, with you, my waning readership as witnesses, to focus on Reality. Or at least to try a little more than I've been trying.

Wish me luck! Or rather, הצלחה ;)

Intolerant about intolerance

I think that quite a lot of people have a complex. From discussions I've had recently with people telling me what they know about Orthadox Judaism, based on the fact that they can apparantly read other people's minds, every Orthadox Jew is judging them.

Um. What?

I've just experienced it quite a bit recently, due to my fascinating job, and I've come to a realization about judging. Now read this slowly, think about it, and read it again:

In order to assume that someone is judging you, you have to judge them. You know that you're making a judgement, and you only assume that they're judging you. So who's stereotyping here?

So please, I beg of you. Converse, don't assume. If you think Orthadox Jews just are a certain way, look into it. Ask an Orthodox Jew!! Speak to Jews outside of New York, for example. As a general rule, it's healthy to speak to all kinds of Jews outside your comfort zone. You'll find many, different types of Orthodox Jews, many quite friendly, many quite open-minded and tolerant.

And you'll become a much happier person, 'cause you'll realize that they're not judging you, and they don't hate you!!

Hi, I'm living in Long Island, CT

I've always liked maps. They put the world in perspective - literally. Call me a nerd (I'll bear it proudly), but one of my favorite books is from my sister, called the Atlas of World History. I dunno, but I just like the way maps clarify things. My point?

My roommate got a Snapple cap that said "Long Island is the largest island in the Continental United States." In my simplistic, out-of-town mind, I thought about Long Island - y'know, where the five towns and Far Rockaway is! After all, you take the Long Island Railroad to get there, so that must be it! Well, apparantly it's not. So said my roommate.

So I asked: Then how is Long Island so big? What's it made of?

So we turned to that ever useful resource, Google maps. And it turns out that Long Island is indeed a pretty big island! It encompasses not only the traditional Long Island, but Brooklyn and Queens as well!! So now I can say I'm living on Long Island. Sounds much, much better ;)

But wait - there's more! Looking further at the map (I added borders), I realized that Manhattan is barely attached to New York, hanging just barely onto a tip of the state. Long Island, even more, is about 75% (if not more) on the Connecticut side of the border! Why it was attached to New York State, I'm not so sure. But it kinda makes sense to me why people from New York City think they're in their own state, and people in "Upstate" are in another hemisphere....

So the final outcome for me is that I'm saying that I'm from Long Island, CT. After all, that's what the map seems to show...and maps are never wrong. :)

In other news, communication is really really important in relationships. Thank you for teaching me that, hon.

Coincidence and Choices

Don't really have time to write too much - I have two essays due tomorrow and I haven't started, but I haven't posted in a while, and my thoughts are bursting out. So I'll share one.

Yesterday, I was supposed to meet a friend. I had a little extra time, so I decided to get off the stop before the one I really needed and walk down (even though it was pouring rain) to meet her, and visit the interesting sights (which there always are) along the way. On a whim, I stopped in a store. Not one I usually frequent; in fact, I hadn't even known that the store existed on that particular street! While browsing around, I (literally) bumped into a friend from home. Someone I'd pretty much lost touch with and haven't spoken to in ages. We talked for a bit, exchanged new phone numbers, and promised to meet over lunch or something. And the friend I was supposed to meet? She cancelled, so I stayed and talked with Friend #2 for far longer than I would have.

I got thinking about it. For some reason, I was supposed to meet her. I was so close to not walking into the store, so close to just walking past. After all, I have a ton of work to do!! But I made the choice to walk in - it was one of those times that I got to see the outcome of a choice I made almost immediately. Incredible!

(So tonight, when I realized I left my jacket at school after I'd already gotten to the subway, I went back to get it...after much thinking about it. But you can't expect to see outcomes that clearly two nights in a row!)

I'm starting a revolution

(whisper) "Smile. Pass it on."

I had a revelation on the train today. If you barely smile - just raise your lips slightly - the person sitting across from you notices. And, barely perceptably, that person's lips slightly rise. Smiles are catchy. But they're scary to do, especially when the person sitting next to you might be a serial killer. So I decided to start a revolution (when I have the funding).

I'm going to print out business cards that have nothing but a smily face and the above four words on them. I want to hand them out. There doesn't have to be any interaction, just the handing of a card to a person, and then leaving. People do it all the time for bars, passing out paper that just gets thrown on the floor...so why not for emotions? It has to be passed on, so hopefully too many won't get thrown out. And it's something that touches people, I think, so hopefully they'll actually pass it on!

So...if any of you have the funding and the guts to do it, you can take the credit - but start it!