Quick question, for whoever could answer...

Does anyone know of an awesome family (or two) in Hamilton, ON (or are you an awesome family who lives there)?

If so, please email me (frumactress at gmail). It's a matter of a soul.

Thank you.

In honor of the discovery under the fridge...

As quoted by my sister's bookbinding-minded boss:

In New York City, even if you win the rat-race, you're still a rat.

(Hmmm...maybe it was because we didn't ask advice from the new alien - we needed to hang up a picture of the Mouse Rebbe for protection!)

Fly El Al!

Public Service Announcement:

Okay, so the strike is over - and El Al, amazingly, conceded to the demands. They even have a cosultant rabbi to whom they can ask their Shabbos questions just to make sure that they won't be mechalel Shabbos again.

So my request to y'all: FLY EL AL!! What they did was amazing. They lost a lot because of the strike, and now I think we should support them as much as we can to show them that we do care that they care (It doesn't really matter if it was the money that finally convinced them to comply - the fact that they did finally comply is a big step, and I we should support them).

I think it would be the Kiddush Hashem that would overcome any Chilul Hashem that may have happened from the strike if we can show them that we do support them, overwhelmingly, when they honor Shabbos.

An Ode

I'm not really explaining this. It applies to one person, who didn't mind me sitting on hold while I blew my nose - loudly. If that wasn't you, then you're still a good person, but you just don't get an ode. Too bad.

Every once in a while
Someone makes you smile
And you feel the need to shout
“Hey, you took away my pout!”

So you write a poem that’s sappy
Hope it won’t cause y’all to nappy
To tell the person thanks
For dealing with your cranks.

She's neither Grecian nor an urn
But when I have a bad turn
She’ll (usually) listen to my rant
As she tends to her plant(s).

And so here I show my appreciation
For dealing with my frustration
And being my salvation
And avoiding the temptation of abdication.

Kill him first...

In the Gemara Sanhedrin, 73a (Hat tip, Back of the Hill), there's a discussion over what one should do if he knows that someone is coming up against him to kill him. The final answer: Kill him before he kills you! So...us little people don't have a way to kill Mr. Ahmadinejad, even though he wants to kill us and our people. So what should we do?

Sara Yoheved Rigler at Aish.com looks into our history for when we were in a similar situation, and gives some pretty good ideas for what we can do. Highly recommended.

Warning: This site under construction

Alas, the dangers of modern technology....

So I upgraded my template into the easy Google beta mode, and thereby lost all my past template items...which I can't find anymore. So excuse the mess while I try to remember all the links I had up there. If I linked to you, please email me to remind me, and I'll put you back up. It's not that I don't like you, I'm just very forgetful, and it took me a really long time to make those lists...I'm annoyed. Plus I have to find all the little icons I had and put them back...

If anyone knows how to see the old template (I don't really want to restore it for good, I just want the old stuff...), please please let me know so I can bring it back to normal..

Thanks.

Twain on Jewish Women

I'm reading this fascinating book (now that the semester's over and I have tiiiiime ;) ), called Mark Twain's Jews, by Dan Vogel. I can't say I love the writing, but the content is really interesting - it's about Mark Twain's perception of the Jews, based on his writings. I really liked this quote (p. 32), written during one of his many travels through Europe, after seeing lots of paintings of Mary:

"The Italian artists painted Italian Virgins, the Dutch painted Dutch Virgins, the Virgins of the French painters were Frenchwomen - none of them ever put into the face of the Madonna that indescribable something that proclaims the Jewess, whether you find her in New YOrk, in Constantinople, in Paris, Jerusalem, or in the Empire of Morocco."

What do you think is that "indescribable something"? ;)

TRT Observations

Or as a far away friend would call it..."mind dump." Each of these lines deserve their own blog post, but I think that's a bit overwhelming...and I DO have other things to do...so you'll get the shortened version :)

The slightest smile makes the biggest difference.

Before you call a helpline for anything, make sure that everything possible is plugged in. Otherwise you sound really stupid after talking to customer service for two hours...

Russian sounds like a very unhappy language.

There are so many different people in New York. It's absolutely fascinating. And terribly lonely.

Chewing gum in public, especially with an open mouth, is disgusting and should be banned.

Is setting a mousetrap צער בעלי חיים?

It's very nice to see people learning Torah on the train.

The more people, the more intense the peer pressure.

You know you're living in a Jewish neighborhood when they put a huge menorah up in your apartment lobby (and no tree...)

My Conspiracy Theory

It's very rare that I comment on politics on this blog. The things that I would comment on, everyone else has already said, so I don't think it's necessary. Today, however, I can't hold back - and I don't think this has been said before:

I believe that the Neturei Karta who went to the Holocaust "conference" are not real Jews. I believe that they are people who are dressed up as Jews because they want to make Chassidim specifically, and Jews in general, look bad. Because it was one thing that they were saying that Jews shouldn't consider E"Y the be-all, end-all. But there is no possible way for them to twist Torah to validate their thinking about this. I mean, they're basically condoning, straight out, the murder of thousands of Jews by collaberating with Ahmadinejad. And they're clearly doing it for media attention. So my theory is that they're doing it to get an impression of Jews on TV. Either way, I'm exceedingly disturbed.

And the newspapers that I read over everyone's shoulder on the train are sooooo inflammatory...it's frightening.

Cloud Nine

I went to a shiur today for the first time in a long time. I went specifically because of the speaker, and I was not disappointed. When she spoke, I found myself transformed into a previous life. An old life of mine, idealistic and striving. And I realized that I've been stagnating. I realized what I should be doing, what my goals should be.

I realized that obsession with school does not a better me make, nor does it bring me closer to G-d. That the one thing that drives me, that makes me wax poetic (relatively, anyway), that makes me feel all full inside, is (dun dah dun): Torah. And DOING for my people.

And so, I resolve today, with you, my waning readership as witnesses, to focus on Reality. Or at least to try a little more than I've been trying.

Wish me luck! Or rather, הצלחה ;)

Intolerant about intolerance

I think that quite a lot of people have a complex. From discussions I've had recently with people telling me what they know about Orthadox Judaism, based on the fact that they can apparantly read other people's minds, every Orthadox Jew is judging them.

Um. What?

I've just experienced it quite a bit recently, due to my fascinating job, and I've come to a realization about judging. Now read this slowly, think about it, and read it again:

In order to assume that someone is judging you, you have to judge them. You know that you're making a judgement, and you only assume that they're judging you. So who's stereotyping here?

So please, I beg of you. Converse, don't assume. If you think Orthadox Jews just are a certain way, look into it. Ask an Orthodox Jew!! Speak to Jews outside of New York, for example. As a general rule, it's healthy to speak to all kinds of Jews outside your comfort zone. You'll find many, different types of Orthodox Jews, many quite friendly, many quite open-minded and tolerant.

And you'll become a much happier person, 'cause you'll realize that they're not judging you, and they don't hate you!!

Hi, I'm living in Long Island, CT

I've always liked maps. They put the world in perspective - literally. Call me a nerd (I'll bear it proudly), but one of my favorite books is from my sister, called the Atlas of World History. I dunno, but I just like the way maps clarify things. My point?

My roommate got a Snapple cap that said "Long Island is the largest island in the Continental United States." In my simplistic, out-of-town mind, I thought about Long Island - y'know, where the five towns and Far Rockaway is! After all, you take the Long Island Railroad to get there, so that must be it! Well, apparantly it's not. So said my roommate.

So I asked: Then how is Long Island so big? What's it made of?

So we turned to that ever useful resource, Google maps. And it turns out that Long Island is indeed a pretty big island! It encompasses not only the traditional Long Island, but Brooklyn and Queens as well!! So now I can say I'm living on Long Island. Sounds much, much better ;)

But wait - there's more! Looking further at the map (I added borders), I realized that Manhattan is barely attached to New York, hanging just barely onto a tip of the state. Long Island, even more, is about 75% (if not more) on the Connecticut side of the border! Why it was attached to New York State, I'm not so sure. But it kinda makes sense to me why people from New York City think they're in their own state, and people in "Upstate" are in another hemisphere....

So the final outcome for me is that I'm saying that I'm from Long Island, CT. After all, that's what the map seems to show...and maps are never wrong. :)

In other news, communication is really really important in relationships. Thank you for teaching me that, hon.

Coincidence and Choices

Don't really have time to write too much - I have two essays due tomorrow and I haven't started, but I haven't posted in a while, and my thoughts are bursting out. So I'll share one.

Yesterday, I was supposed to meet a friend. I had a little extra time, so I decided to get off the stop before the one I really needed and walk down (even though it was pouring rain) to meet her, and visit the interesting sights (which there always are) along the way. On a whim, I stopped in a store. Not one I usually frequent; in fact, I hadn't even known that the store existed on that particular street! While browsing around, I (literally) bumped into a friend from home. Someone I'd pretty much lost touch with and haven't spoken to in ages. We talked for a bit, exchanged new phone numbers, and promised to meet over lunch or something. And the friend I was supposed to meet? She cancelled, so I stayed and talked with Friend #2 for far longer than I would have.

I got thinking about it. For some reason, I was supposed to meet her. I was so close to not walking into the store, so close to just walking past. After all, I have a ton of work to do!! But I made the choice to walk in - it was one of those times that I got to see the outcome of a choice I made almost immediately. Incredible!

(So tonight, when I realized I left my jacket at school after I'd already gotten to the subway, I went back to get it...after much thinking about it. But you can't expect to see outcomes that clearly two nights in a row!)

I'm starting a revolution

(whisper) "Smile. Pass it on."

I had a revelation on the train today. If you barely smile - just raise your lips slightly - the person sitting across from you notices. And, barely perceptably, that person's lips slightly rise. Smiles are catchy. But they're scary to do, especially when the person sitting next to you might be a serial killer. So I decided to start a revolution (when I have the funding).

I'm going to print out business cards that have nothing but a smily face and the above four words on them. I want to hand them out. There doesn't have to be any interaction, just the handing of a card to a person, and then leaving. People do it all the time for bars, passing out paper that just gets thrown on the floor...so why not for emotions? It has to be passed on, so hopefully too many won't get thrown out. And it's something that touches people, I think, so hopefully they'll actually pass it on!

So...if any of you have the funding and the guts to do it, you can take the credit - but start it!

Sunglasses, Part II

My sister sent me this link: http://www.slate.com/id/2149235/entry/2149511/

Apparantly, people who are very chic wear sunglasses indoors. I'm not chic, I'm friendly (or at least I try to be - see my upcoming post!). I'd rather not be chic, personally...it makes you have to be so standoffish and cold...

Dare to say something

I learned a valuable lesson on Friday.

I was waiting for a bus, just sitting on a bench minding my own business, and I noticed a frum girl sitting next to me. Actually, I'd noticed her before I sat down and thought, I guess now we'll studiously ignore each other...but I started to think. Really think. What will it hurt if I said hi to her?

Maybe I'll be embarrassed, maybe she'll say something incredibly nasty, look at me like I'm slime, scum of the earth, and move to sit out of the way of my contamination. But...maybe she's just shy. Maybe she's not smiling 'cause she's afraid of what I'm afraid of - not recieving a smile back. But then maybe I'm just as bad as all the people I complain about. Maybe I'm the one who's unfriendly and unsmiling...

S0 I put a smile on my face and said "Hello, I'm trw!" And, lo and behold, she looked at me and smiled back!

People, inside, are really kind (as a general rule). They're just shy. In some places, they're so sure of rejection that they're afraid to say hello. So try it. Just once. Smile at the person. It makes you feel better, 'cause you get that whole self rightous "I'm being nice" thing. And it certainly makes the other person feel better.

The world can be a lonely place. Or a lovely place. It's your decision.

The Positive Side of the Monsey Catastrophe

I just came back from a wonderful Shabbos in Monsey. My hosts used paper plates and plastic silverware (oxymoron, I know), did not use many of their pots and pans, and constantly came up with more shailos to ask the rav over the course of their Shabbos.

Why? Because someone had been selling treif chickens as kosher ones. Enough has been said, I think, about the awfulness of the situation, the tircha that everyone now has to go through, the dishwashers and china that can't be kashered and therefore the money that is being spent...

But seeing it, for me, being a part of it - just for one Shabbos - just showed me how amazing my people are. The Jews of Monsey found out that there was a problem. It wasn't a sanitary problem, there was no dirt on the chickens (at least not visible), and to an outsider, it had to look pretty strange. I was reading a copy of the NY Times over someone's shoulder on the subway that showed a picture of a bunch of Chasidim waiting on a line to do hagala (one kind of ritual cleansing), and really wondered what the guy holding the paper thought about it...

I'll tell you what I thought about it: I thought, Hashem, Your people love you. They'll do anything for you. וכל מאודך indeed. When push came to shove, the people that I saw in Monsey rushed to remove this purely spiritual taint from their lives. No, there was no physical ramifications that one could see from the use of treif chicken on their plates. But the spiritual ramifications are so important to Your people that they will do anything, no matter what the cost, to remove them.

מי כעמך ישראל

Edit: I just heard (via Stx, who would know) that all the rabbis in Monsey got together and put out a statement that everyone should kasher according to what their specific rabbi tells them - and no person is allowed to make judgement on other people's kashrus. If you did what your rabbi told you to do, you're fine. If someone else's rabbi told them something else and they did it, then REGARDLESS of what the rabbi told them to do, you have to assume that their kitchen is kosher. It's all about שבעים פנים לתורה and אמונת חכמים.

Clarification

I have to just add a bit about this place where I'm currently residing. When I have actually spoken to people, they have been exceedingly nice. I've been invited to countless places for Shabbos, and many people have offered to help me in so many ways.

Don't get me wrong. There are lots of nice things about this place.

It just takes some getting used to, and I'm not so used to it right now.

TRT - Day 18 - The Country

Once upon a time, the people from Brooklyn got together and formed a Country. They have no ruler except the people themselves, (which, granted, can be pretty scary, so I guess it's okay). It's only a temporary Country, however, existing and functioning, strangely, only during the summer. People shut down businesses, homes, and stores, and flee the city to this oasis of...something. I've never heard a name for this Country (apparently for fear of the U.S. government realizing that they've seceded from the Union and created their own Country), and so people only talk about it vaguely and mysteriously, calling it The Country, or sometimes just "Upstate". Everyone who's in the "know" in Brooklyn knows which Country they mean, so there is no need for further explanation.

Now, toward the end of the summer, the inhabitants of The Country have begun coming back into Brooklyn, flowing back in droves. Although I'm told that they will leave again for their last holiday weekend before they must return to reality, I've noticed that They are back. The purse-carrying, makeup encrusted, sparkly, flat-shoed people are back! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Must...regain...control...

In other news, foreigners who move to Brooklyn are really lovely, and I am extremely grateful to them :)

TRT - Day 8

Sunglasses

Look. You don't need to wear them in the subway. It's dark in there. Really dark. Wearing them in the subway is a statement, and, IMHO, cowardly.

Essentially, you're saying: "Not only do I not want to meet your glance, but I might want to stare at you without you knowing. I'm cooler than you, and if you don't see my eyes, you can't see me at all! Nyah, nyah.."

You don't have to meet my eyes, it's ok. I know I might follow you home and kill you if you do, and you're worried. But a little smile never hurt anyone. A smirk, yes. A leer, definitely. But learn the difference and you'll be a much happier person.

In other news, people from my home town who have relocated here are lovely and friendly, as are random people who introduce me to supercool bookstores and theatre! :)