Iwas talking to my brother (yes, I do that occasionally) today, and he said something fascinating. We were discussing whether being frum (Orthodox) is restrictive or not. He said, "You can't fly. Do you find that restrictive?"
Just thought it was inerstin'
Edit: After a little discussion, we decided that doing drugs would be a better example. You physically CAN do it, but you don't (I hope!)-why? Because it's proved to be bad for you. Well, if The Doctor says that something is bad for you, why would you do it? (I know-believing in a Supreme Doctor is an entirely seperate argument...but in my personal case, I do!)
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Hmm I see what he's trying to say...But one is a choice. The other isn't.
Unless I'm misunderstanding somehow...
Hi - I just wanted to let you know that I added you to my blogroll :)
Thanks! I'm honored!
Uhh hate to say this, but I think that was kinda his point. Meaning that they're only restrictions if they're something desireable, something worth doing. Are you restricted because you don't jump off cliffs? Are you restricted from sticking your arm in a fire? No, those aren't restrictions, they're just common sense things that you would stop from doing because they're...uh...harmful. To put it mildly.
And that's what TRW's saying. If you believe in frumkeit to the point where doing anything against frum ideals is ludicrous, if you understand the "obviousness" of the perfection of yiddishkeit, and you have complete bitachon that Hashem knows best...then where are the restrictions?
"Most frum people didn't choose to be frum, they were born into it. It's not like they had a choice growing up whether or not to be restricted...they were just following their parents and what they were being taught...My point is that I don't understand how your brother put the connection between something undesirable being unrestricted and Orthodox Judaism."
But that's what I'm trying to say-it's all about taking what you've been 'brainwashed' and making that decision-understanding why you do what you do to the point that a so-called 'restriction' is undesirable and therefore no longer restrictive.
I had a substitute once who made a comment that I'll never forget: If you don't have a reason why you're frum other than that your parents made you that way, then you need to do some serious contemplation about your reason for living.
It's like I told MisNagid-You only have one life to live-why would you live it a lie if you feel so strongly that what you're doing is wrong? Either learn how your issues (with anything-in this case, frumkeit) can be explained, or change your lifestyle to fit with your ideas. If Judaism is false to you, why are you still practicing it?
If the life you're living is so false, change it-it's yours!!
(Sorry, leati, that wasn't at you...just one of my soapboxes...)
Leati #2-Sorry, I was posting when you wrote the second blog and didn't see it. Yes, it's hard, but understanding it as something impossible helps a lot. Like I said before-knowing why you do what you do makes life so much clearer!
Besides the fact, that's why the "drugs" mashal works so well! You wrote:
"Even if you understand that "anything but" is completely insane, it doesn't take away the fact that you're dealing with the rest of society saying the opposite. Understanding the "obviousness" of the perfection of Judaism doesn't automatically dissolve away all the desires. Although it makes it simpler, it's still not easy - which makes the effects of the restrictions still active."
And is it any tougher to "just say no" to drugs? But if you understand what it's doing, if you realize that you're not just giving in to the little lemonhead boxes, but that you're actually protecting your health--something that you WANT to do, of course!--then it's not a restriction at all. If anything, your "buddies" who are "using" are the ones who are restricted; they're at the point where they can't even tell that what they're doing is self destructive!
Mrs. Frand (yes, that's Rabbi Frand's rebbetzin, and yes, we at BYB were zochos to have her for a TEACHER. Amazing, isn't it?) said something in 10th grade that stuck with me. She said that the whole "dieting craze" has come about in order for us to better understand yiddishkeit. So let's say you're going to a party, a kiddush or something. And you tell your friend, "Whatever happens, don't let me eat ANY cake." And you get there, and there's this huge tower of strawberry shortcake perched on the doilied tablecloth, dripping with syrup and frosting and [fill in your favorite topping here]. And you reach out and lop off a huge piece of the marvelous beast and dump it on a flimsy plate and jab a fork into it and raise it to your mouth--and a hand comes out of nowhere and grabs your wrist and points the fork away and whisks away the plate.
What's your reaction? Is your friend being mean? Is she restricting you? No, she's merely stopping you from doing something that, were you in a sane frame of mind, you would NEVER want to do!
And when I say "sane," I mean it. See Rashi on one of the first few psukim of mishlei, who quotes a midrash that says that a person only does an avera "im nichnas bo ruach shtus"--if he's been overcome with temporary insanity. And Hashem telling us to keep the mitzvos is pretty much forcing us to stay sane.
Restrictive? I think not.
Umm....*stuffs fist in mouth*.
Uhh....*jams it further down throat*.
Not against halacha? I disag--*bites tongue, which is hard to do because hand is in the way*.
I'll be quiet now.
It's not against the letter of the law...you CAN wear pants at an all girls' gym; you CAN technically talk to the opposite gender; you CAN listen to non-Jewish music. It's a question of spirit of the law and hashkafa, but there's no HALACHA per se against it.
Answer #2--Look in Sefer HaChinuch, Mitzvah #188.
Answer #1--And the answer that matters. Who defines what "halacha" is? The response of somebody on this blog, when I spoke with her in person, was "Find it for me in the shulchan aruch, in the mishna berurah, in straight halacha somewhere." Maybe this should be the start of a new topic. I disagree that just because something can't be found in the mishna berurah, it's not a halacha. (Yes, straight out halacha, not hashkafa.) Anyone wanna take this one outside?
So how do YOU define halacha, stx?
Welcome aboard, Shteiger! Can't wait to hear more from you...
(Btw, do i KNOW you? Hmmmm)
I posted something similar on my blog about my daughter and a guitar recital and kol isha. To the outside world, (and maybe my daughter too) kol isha sounds very restrictive.
I like to think of what Capt. Kirk says to Charlie on Star Trek: There's a million things you can have in this universe, and there's a million things that you can't have. If you can understand that sentiment, Orthodoxy gets easier to live with.
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