1) Is Evolution a fact or theory?
It's a theory that could be a fact it you hold that a day of Creation was the billions of years that it took for the tiny bug to become a person...although I have issue with the fact that I may have come from apes. In fact, I just plain old don't believe it. Very distantly related, possibly. Direct descendants? Absolutely not. (We're also distantly related to ישמעאל, but we try to avoid that as well...)
2) If there was a movie about you, who would play the leading role?
Funny question, 'cause I'm the last one (well..maybe not the last one, but close...) to know all the actresses...the answer is that I'd just have to do it (aww shucks) 'cause nobody else can. For one thing, none of the actresses around today have my unique size and shape ('cept maybe Kristen Chenelworth...maybe her-she plays G[a]linda in Wicked). In reality, I wouldn't really feel comfortable with someone else playing me, 'cause I'd feel kinda usurped. The amount of personal emotion that goes into playing a part...I wouldn't feel uniquely me anymore-I'd feel like someone else was trying to be me...it'd be yucky. So I dunno. They'd have to pass my very strict inspection, and I don't think it'd be so easy for anyone.
3) What gets you most angry?
Now I wonder where that question came from...? ;)
When people lie and spread hatred and anger for no good reason. (So no, that person is not that bad ;) )
4) What's the worst that might happen?
I'd rather not think about it, much less put it into words. I was uncomfortable enough just reading CJ's blog last week...although it definately made a difference in my Tefilos recently.
5) What's a question you wish you were asked? and the answer?
Um...they had that question on the Hillel officers application. That's why I didn't apply. Cause I didn't wanna answer this question (well...maybe that's not WHY I didn't apply, but still...)
6) Were you surprised by any of the answers here?
I guess the first and second ones. I never really thought deeply about my feelings on evolution, and I never realized I thought I was so important that nobody could replace me. Hmmm...
Good food for thought. Yum!
Now the rules again: Read the last three posts and see if you can figure them out...
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Eli7's Interview
Thanks! I really enjoyed this one!! (Not that I didn't enjoy the others-but this one was fun for me ;) )
1) What do you view as a defining moment - an epiphany or revelation - in your life?
It's interesting. During the time when I had this epiphany, I actually was really annoyed and rebelled against it. I was in sem, and the Aim Bayit was giving a...I guess a shiur, but at the time I saw it as a "let's get all warm and fuzzy and get to know each other" kind of class. She said one thing that really stuck in my mind, and, I hope, I have since remembered in my interactions with other people. She said that for every person, there is someone who's frummer and someone who's less frum. Everyone has someone who's too extreme to the right and someone who's too extreme to the left. The example she gave was with head coverings (okay, she was talking to girls, so it applied). Most of the girls there were planning to (and many do already ;) ) wear regular shaitles once they got married, so she described the shaitle-with-hat that as the next step right and a baseball cap + ponytail as the next step left. I don't even remember why I was upset about the speech, but I was. When I thought about it later, however, I realized that there's an amazing lesson in perspective to be learned.
We always think that our way is the only way. We stand at the center, and everyone else is waaaay extreme. For me, it led me to be a little less judgemental (stop laughing, leati) and to think about my initial reactions to people before I decided whether to like them or not (and it is a decision, conscious or not). For me, it was to look at people that are frummer than me and to think about what they do, not to see it as threatening to me and therefore "fanatic." I find it's much easier (for me) to accept people who I consider "left" of me than "right," so it's something I've been working on ever since.
2) If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would that word be?
Simmering.
3) What is your greatest accomplishment?
In general, when I have a big project and I don't think I can do it and it somehow gets done. I don't like responsibility, and I don't think of original ideas easily (hence my play that's taking so long to write). The first time that happened was when I was co-head of the gymnastics routine for my school. I COULD NOT (or so I thought) do it, and I only accepted the position because the other girl was desperate. It ended up being the best performance of the entire show, and I'm still very proud of it.
Is that my greatest accomplishment, all things considered? No. But it was the first time I realized that I, little old TRW, could do big things and they could even come out fantastic! :)
4) In a perfect world, where/who will you be 20 years from now?
In the Old City of Yerushalayim, preparing a huge Shabbos meal for the tons of guests that my husband will bring home from the Kotel or from the school where he's teaching, who've never seen a Shabbos before, and these people's intro to Yiddishkeit will be based on the way I've raised my kids and made my home and IY"H it'll be done absolutely right.
(Yes, I'll also be near Hebrew University, where I could pop in to the Hebrew Manuscript division and do research while the kids are at school, and the Kol Neshama Eretz Yisroel division'll also be nearby, where I can pursue performance and help girls realize their amazingness....:) )
5) What is your single most valued possession?
My soul.
Now the rules again:
1) Leave me a comment saying "interview me please."
2)I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as above)
3)You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4) You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5) When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.
Edit: I think I've interviewed everyone that's asked me so far. If I haven't, let me know. I'm still waiting to be interviewed by Karl, Stx, and NJ. (I commented in the previous post that I'm happy to interview y'all, but then you gotta interview me too! I'm beginning to like this game! ;) ) If you want to be interviewed, ask me on this post, so I'll know which one to check.
Have a happy day!
1) What do you view as a defining moment - an epiphany or revelation - in your life?
It's interesting. During the time when I had this epiphany, I actually was really annoyed and rebelled against it. I was in sem, and the Aim Bayit was giving a...I guess a shiur, but at the time I saw it as a "let's get all warm and fuzzy and get to know each other" kind of class. She said one thing that really stuck in my mind, and, I hope, I have since remembered in my interactions with other people. She said that for every person, there is someone who's frummer and someone who's less frum. Everyone has someone who's too extreme to the right and someone who's too extreme to the left. The example she gave was with head coverings (okay, she was talking to girls, so it applied). Most of the girls there were planning to (and many do already ;) ) wear regular shaitles once they got married, so she described the shaitle-with-hat that as the next step right and a baseball cap + ponytail as the next step left. I don't even remember why I was upset about the speech, but I was. When I thought about it later, however, I realized that there's an amazing lesson in perspective to be learned.
We always think that our way is the only way. We stand at the center, and everyone else is waaaay extreme. For me, it led me to be a little less judgemental (stop laughing, leati) and to think about my initial reactions to people before I decided whether to like them or not (and it is a decision, conscious or not). For me, it was to look at people that are frummer than me and to think about what they do, not to see it as threatening to me and therefore "fanatic." I find it's much easier (for me) to accept people who I consider "left" of me than "right," so it's something I've been working on ever since.
2) If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would that word be?
Simmering.
3) What is your greatest accomplishment?
In general, when I have a big project and I don't think I can do it and it somehow gets done. I don't like responsibility, and I don't think of original ideas easily (hence my play that's taking so long to write). The first time that happened was when I was co-head of the gymnastics routine for my school. I COULD NOT (or so I thought) do it, and I only accepted the position because the other girl was desperate. It ended up being the best performance of the entire show, and I'm still very proud of it.
Is that my greatest accomplishment, all things considered? No. But it was the first time I realized that I, little old TRW, could do big things and they could even come out fantastic! :)
4) In a perfect world, where/who will you be 20 years from now?
In the Old City of Yerushalayim, preparing a huge Shabbos meal for the tons of guests that my husband will bring home from the Kotel or from the school where he's teaching, who've never seen a Shabbos before, and these people's intro to Yiddishkeit will be based on the way I've raised my kids and made my home and IY"H it'll be done absolutely right.
(Yes, I'll also be near Hebrew University, where I could pop in to the Hebrew Manuscript division and do research while the kids are at school, and the Kol Neshama Eretz Yisroel division'll also be nearby, where I can pursue performance and help girls realize their amazingness....:) )
5) What is your single most valued possession?
My soul.
Now the rules again:
1) Leave me a comment saying "interview me please."
2)I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as above)
3)You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4) You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5) When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.
Edit: I think I've interviewed everyone that's asked me so far. If I haven't, let me know. I'm still waiting to be interviewed by Karl, Stx, and NJ. (I commented in the previous post that I'm happy to interview y'all, but then you gotta interview me too! I'm beginning to like this game! ;) ) If you want to be interviewed, ask me on this post, so I'll know which one to check.
Have a happy day!
Monday, July 25, 2005
"En" Interview of TRW ;)
Good questions, En! They really made me think...which is 99.6% of the time a good thing ;)
Just a note...I almost done, and then the thunderstorm came and erased it...so take 2.
1) Describe in detail a play that you would produce on Broadway.
The easy answer: If I knew the details of that play, it'd be written and in production stage already!!
The harder answer: I'm in middle of one...but I don't want to talk about it (except to my wonderful editor/songwriter) until it's really real and finished.
The ideal: A story with beautiful, catchy music that leaves the audience (and the actors) knowing more while continuing to think, proud of who they are while continuing to grow, and with a huge desire to go out and make the world a better place.
Ah...what would any of us to with the ability to inspire the world? (And what do those with that power actually do...?)
2)If you were to find a manuscript from the Rambam that was never seen by anyone, what would you do with it?
First I'd lock myself in the library until I'd finished going through the whole thing. After verifying it for myself, I'd take it to the local בקאי in כל התורה כולה and get his opinion on it. After it's been confirmed and verified, I'd take it to my local publishing house and make sure everyone can get a copy that's obviously true and real, so I wouldn't have to worry about words of תורה being doubted.
I would also scour the margins to try and find notes or personal comments that would help with an insight into the life and era of the Rambam so that we can make history really part of our lives and see its importance in terms of הלכה and מסרה (i.e. Why was this particular פסק so significant, based on what was going on in Egypt at the time?).
Once all the excitement dies down, I'll go back in the library and see what else I can find ;)
3)If you could be one character in HP which one would you be and why?
And what makes you think I'd know characters from HP? ;)
My favorite character is Ron. Perhaps because we share a birthday, but also 'cause I relate to him. I'm a bit nervous around some people and I don't always know what to say and I have friends that are better and smarter than me that sometimes make me feel a little bad but mostly I'm sooo glad that I'm friends with them. (Whew! Long sentence, no commas....but I'm not the English major ;) ). And no, that isn't just about one person, or two, or three...it's a self-esteem thing.
Would I wanna be like him? Dunno. In terms of personality, I wish I could have Lupin's kindness, McGonnagal's brains (note that I didn't say Dumbledore's-sometimes too much wisdom can bring you down...:( ), Tonk's funnyness (when she gets over her issue at the end of HBP), Fred & George's ease among people, Malfoy's perserverence (just not for the same things..), Hagrid's huge heart, Ginny's strength of character, Hermione's practicality (but not her worries), and nothing of Snape.
But that still didn't answer the question ("one character"), did it? Ah well.
4)If you were to write a meforash on Torah what sefer would you write it on and why?
Megilas Esther. I spent a long time studying only one pasuk of it for a paper in seminary and it really speaks to me (and no, my name isn't Esther ;) ). It's really a מגלה for גלות, and so much of it clearly applies today. (אמונת חכמים, for one..)
5)Describe the best thing your future husband could do for you to make you happy.
Very hard question. Are you asking what I'm looking for in a guy? Hmm..
The best thing that a husband could do that'd make me happy is to show me that he loves כלל ישראל and wants to do everything in his power to bring them closer to their Source. ('Course, I'm part of כלל ישראל ;) ). There's the usual support and caring and open ear, etc., all of which are crucial, but priorities MUST be straight as well.
Thanks again, En, that was truly an eye-opening experience for me!
Now the rules again:
1) Leave me a comment saying "interview me please."
2)I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as above)
3)You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4) You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5) When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.
Just a note...I almost done, and then the thunderstorm came and erased it...so take 2.
1) Describe in detail a play that you would produce on Broadway.
The easy answer: If I knew the details of that play, it'd be written and in production stage already!!
The harder answer: I'm in middle of one...but I don't want to talk about it (except to my wonderful editor/songwriter) until it's really real and finished.
The ideal: A story with beautiful, catchy music that leaves the audience (and the actors) knowing more while continuing to think, proud of who they are while continuing to grow, and with a huge desire to go out and make the world a better place.
Ah...what would any of us to with the ability to inspire the world? (And what do those with that power actually do...?)
2)If you were to find a manuscript from the Rambam that was never seen by anyone, what would you do with it?
First I'd lock myself in the library until I'd finished going through the whole thing. After verifying it for myself, I'd take it to the local בקאי in כל התורה כולה and get his opinion on it. After it's been confirmed and verified, I'd take it to my local publishing house and make sure everyone can get a copy that's obviously true and real, so I wouldn't have to worry about words of תורה being doubted.
I would also scour the margins to try and find notes or personal comments that would help with an insight into the life and era of the Rambam so that we can make history really part of our lives and see its importance in terms of הלכה and מסרה (i.e. Why was this particular פסק so significant, based on what was going on in Egypt at the time?).
Once all the excitement dies down, I'll go back in the library and see what else I can find ;)
3)If you could be one character in HP which one would you be and why?
And what makes you think I'd know characters from HP? ;)
My favorite character is Ron. Perhaps because we share a birthday, but also 'cause I relate to him. I'm a bit nervous around some people and I don't always know what to say and I have friends that are better and smarter than me that sometimes make me feel a little bad but mostly I'm sooo glad that I'm friends with them. (Whew! Long sentence, no commas....but I'm not the English major ;) ). And no, that isn't just about one person, or two, or three...it's a self-esteem thing.
Would I wanna be like him? Dunno. In terms of personality, I wish I could have Lupin's kindness, McGonnagal's brains (note that I didn't say Dumbledore's-sometimes too much wisdom can bring you down...:( ), Tonk's funnyness (when she gets over her issue at the end of HBP), Fred & George's ease among people, Malfoy's perserverence (just not for the same things..), Hagrid's huge heart, Ginny's strength of character, Hermione's practicality (but not her worries), and nothing of Snape.
But that still didn't answer the question ("one character"), did it? Ah well.
4)If you were to write a meforash on Torah what sefer would you write it on and why?
Megilas Esther. I spent a long time studying only one pasuk of it for a paper in seminary and it really speaks to me (and no, my name isn't Esther ;) ). It's really a מגלה for גלות, and so much of it clearly applies today. (אמונת חכמים, for one..)
5)Describe the best thing your future husband could do for you to make you happy.
Very hard question. Are you asking what I'm looking for in a guy? Hmm..
The best thing that a husband could do that'd make me happy is to show me that he loves כלל ישראל and wants to do everything in his power to bring them closer to their Source. ('Course, I'm part of כלל ישראל ;) ). There's the usual support and caring and open ear, etc., all of which are crucial, but priorities MUST be straight as well.
Thanks again, En, that was truly an eye-opening experience for me!
Now the rules again:
1) Leave me a comment saying "interview me please."
2)I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as above)
3)You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4) You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5) When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Shoes, ships, sealing wax, cabbages, kings, etc.
A brief update on my trip: Absolutely lovely.
Oh. That's not enough? London is a beautiful town, and I had a wonderful time-the trip was far too short. We toured it high and low, touched most (if not all) the usual tourist spots and some very unusual ones. The frum community is quite warm and friendly (I can see why some use the word "ghetto" to classify it, but it's not any more ghetto than Flatbush or Boro Park ;) ) All in all it was a very good experience, one I would gladly do again (although hopefully when the pound is down or the dollar is up...). I didn't meet any bloggers, though I kinda hoped I would (though I dunno how I would have recognized them ;) ).
Culturally, a bit different...fascinating. And I'm not SUCH a backwards, uncivilized American, okay? And Americans are not as stupid as all you Londoners make them out to be...still smarting from 1774?
Skittles are absolutely delicious! (And kosher in England, for those who're wondering..)
The best sign I saw-on the other side of the tower bridge: "Caution -- Haschem" (I might be spelling the second word wrong, but I found it quite wonderful ;) )
For you fellow HP obsessors: we found a pub called the Hog's Head and couldn't resist-we went inside and ordered Cokes just to be able to say we did ;) Unfortunately, they didn't serve butterbeer :( And I would like to publicly thank the two people who cause the Deluxe edition to be sitting on my bed when I arrived home ;)
Hashgacha pratis:
1. We got a bit lost and met an Israeli couple that couldn't really speak very good English, but needed directions, and we were able to help them. In fluent Hebrew ;) It's always nice to see why you had to make that wrong turn...
2. We left this past Thursday. We had decided to take the Tube to the airport as it was cheapest, but at 12:30 AM Thursday morning our hosts convinced us that we'd be much happier taking a cab and paying the extra fare. Needless to say, they were right. B"H we got to the airport on time and didn't even hear about the bombings until we landed in the USA.
Oh. That's not enough? London is a beautiful town, and I had a wonderful time-the trip was far too short. We toured it high and low, touched most (if not all) the usual tourist spots and some very unusual ones. The frum community is quite warm and friendly (I can see why some use the word "ghetto" to classify it, but it's not any more ghetto than Flatbush or Boro Park ;) ) All in all it was a very good experience, one I would gladly do again (although hopefully when the pound is down or the dollar is up...). I didn't meet any bloggers, though I kinda hoped I would (though I dunno how I would have recognized them ;) ).
Culturally, a bit different...fascinating. And I'm not SUCH a backwards, uncivilized American, okay? And Americans are not as stupid as all you Londoners make them out to be...still smarting from 1774?
Skittles are absolutely delicious! (And kosher in England, for those who're wondering..)
The best sign I saw-on the other side of the tower bridge: "Caution -- Haschem" (I might be spelling the second word wrong, but I found it quite wonderful ;) )
For you fellow HP obsessors: we found a pub called the Hog's Head and couldn't resist-we went inside and ordered Cokes just to be able to say we did ;) Unfortunately, they didn't serve butterbeer :( And I would like to publicly thank the two people who cause the Deluxe edition to be sitting on my bed when I arrived home ;)
Hashgacha pratis:
1. We got a bit lost and met an Israeli couple that couldn't really speak very good English, but needed directions, and we were able to help them. In fluent Hebrew ;) It's always nice to see why you had to make that wrong turn...
2. We left this past Thursday. We had decided to take the Tube to the airport as it was cheapest, but at 12:30 AM Thursday morning our hosts convinced us that we'd be much happier taking a cab and paying the extra fare. Needless to say, they were right. B"H we got to the airport on time and didn't even hear about the bombings until we landed in the USA.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Everything Else vs. Money
My second job is at a HEBREW rare books library. Meaning that the books there are (mostly) כלי קודש. It's wonderful.
I am able to open a ספר and see the writing of someone who labored tirelessly over holy words to understand them, and then marked down his own הארות for posterity. (Interesting, isn't it, how the word הארות comes from להאיר, literally "to enlighten"? :) )
I open for the first time in 50 years the cracked pages of an ancient מחזור with the names of those for whom the owner would say Yartzeit written on the inside flap.
With chilling comprehension, I see the stamp of the Nazi Archives, marking a book to go to the museum for "those lost people, the Jews, who used to blight the world." And yet many of the books have been returned to their rightful owners, who outlived the evil ones. Many of the owners, however, could not be found. The books were then shipped to libraries across the world, where they could be accessed by the descendants of their former owners.
I wish I knew more Yiddish, German, Italian, and how to read music (those are the languages I've come across so far-aside from Hebrew, 'course). I found a book about an inch thick, filled with handwritten notes to songs that won't be played. I wish I could write them down and play them at home, learn them, and teach them for others.
It's with these books that I'm working now. On my volunteer time. And I love it.
This is Reality. This is Truth. This is not comparable to someone's twisted idea of "art," this is the truth about life! I feel like I know so little, and yet CAN learn so much. Cause it's just...right.
I am able to open a ספר and see the writing of someone who labored tirelessly over holy words to understand them, and then marked down his own הארות for posterity. (Interesting, isn't it, how the word הארות comes from להאיר, literally "to enlighten"? :) )
I open for the first time in 50 years the cracked pages of an ancient מחזור with the names of those for whom the owner would say Yartzeit written on the inside flap.
With chilling comprehension, I see the stamp of the Nazi Archives, marking a book to go to the museum for "those lost people, the Jews, who used to blight the world." And yet many of the books have been returned to their rightful owners, who outlived the evil ones. Many of the owners, however, could not be found. The books were then shipped to libraries across the world, where they could be accessed by the descendants of their former owners.
I wish I knew more Yiddish, German, Italian, and how to read music (those are the languages I've come across so far-aside from Hebrew, 'course). I found a book about an inch thick, filled with handwritten notes to songs that won't be played. I wish I could write them down and play them at home, learn them, and teach them for others.
It's with these books that I'm working now. On my volunteer time. And I love it.
This is Reality. This is Truth. This is not comparable to someone's twisted idea of "art," this is the truth about life! I feel like I know so little, and yet CAN learn so much. Cause it's just...right.
Money vs. Everything Else
...or "How I wish I didn't need money so I could drop my paying job and do my volunteer work full-time"
I shouldn't complain. I'm not really, in fact. It's just that the diference is sooo clear. Let's back up a bit. I have two summer jobs, each two days a week. They're both in rare book libraries (Yes, a rare book library is different than an archive. An archive collects data. Could be anything-like how much the company earned this year, or what courses a university offers. A rare book library has rare books.), and I'm enjoying both of them. They're just....different.
One's at a university. They have a large photography collection, lots of old photographs, which is very cool. Not my particular interest, but very inerestin'. Especially interesting are the ones from during an important event in history (like a world war) that shows the event as the people saw it THEN, rather than as we see it through the 20/20 vision of history.
Another interesting thing about working with the photographs (they're from a newspaper collection) is how media distorts. The photographs have coloring all over them-blacking things out, drawing things in, emphasizing little and unimportant things...and thereby telling a completely different story than what had originally been there.
But there are the disturbing parts also. There was a lecture given about Ethics and Photography. Their conclusion? You can take a photograph of anything, yes, anything, and that's wonderful, because it's art, so it's beautiful. Essentially (and I'm paraphrasing the speaker), ethics are different with every person, and so there basically are no ethics. My conclusion? אם אין תורה אין דרך ארץ.
What was even more disturbing was that he told me afterwards that he's always worried about giving this speech, cause sometimes there're really religious people that take offense at it. Hello!! I'm offended!!
What was more disturbing than that was when he asked me to file the extremely graphic photos that he'd used for the lecture. I'm disturbed. Very very disturbed.
On the other hand, there's my other job :)
P.S. Has anyone ever flown international on Priceline before?
I shouldn't complain. I'm not really, in fact. It's just that the diference is sooo clear. Let's back up a bit. I have two summer jobs, each two days a week. They're both in rare book libraries (Yes, a rare book library is different than an archive. An archive collects data. Could be anything-like how much the company earned this year, or what courses a university offers. A rare book library has rare books.), and I'm enjoying both of them. They're just....different.
One's at a university. They have a large photography collection, lots of old photographs, which is very cool. Not my particular interest, but very inerestin'. Especially interesting are the ones from during an important event in history (like a world war) that shows the event as the people saw it THEN, rather than as we see it through the 20/20 vision of history.
Another interesting thing about working with the photographs (they're from a newspaper collection) is how media distorts. The photographs have coloring all over them-blacking things out, drawing things in, emphasizing little and unimportant things...and thereby telling a completely different story than what had originally been there.
But there are the disturbing parts also. There was a lecture given about Ethics and Photography. Their conclusion? You can take a photograph of anything, yes, anything, and that's wonderful, because it's art, so it's beautiful. Essentially (and I'm paraphrasing the speaker), ethics are different with every person, and so there basically are no ethics. My conclusion? אם אין תורה אין דרך ארץ.
What was even more disturbing was that he told me afterwards that he's always worried about giving this speech, cause sometimes there're really religious people that take offense at it. Hello!! I'm offended!!
What was more disturbing than that was when he asked me to file the extremely graphic photos that he'd used for the lecture. I'm disturbed. Very very disturbed.
On the other hand, there's my other job :)
P.S. Has anyone ever flown international on Priceline before?
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Emotional Overflow #2: Thank You!!
I realized that I've been living a charmed life. No, not a charmed life, a siyata dishmaya life. As I get older and learn more about the world, I realize it more and more. I'm shocked by things I read. About family situations. About abuse. About lack of love. About lack of understanding. Things that many many people, rachmana litzlan, have been touched by.
So I wanted to publicly announce thanks to Hashem. 'Cause he runs my life, and whatever He does, he does perfectly. Of course!! There's an incredible weight that lifts from your shoulders when you realize that things that happen to you are from Him, and therefore are by definition good...even if sometimes it's harder to see than other times. You make your Papa happy, and He takes care of you! And even when you do bad, He's there, waiting, still doing good for you. And He loves you. And me. :)
(No, that still doesn't negate EO #1-cause we want to make Him HAPPY!! Seeing His children fight doesn't do that...:( )
So I wanted to publicly announce thanks to Hashem. 'Cause he runs my life, and whatever He does, he does perfectly. Of course!! There's an incredible weight that lifts from your shoulders when you realize that things that happen to you are from Him, and therefore are by definition good...even if sometimes it's harder to see than other times. You make your Papa happy, and He takes care of you! And even when you do bad, He's there, waiting, still doing good for you. And He loves you. And me. :)
(No, that still doesn't negate EO #1-cause we want to make Him HAPPY!! Seeing His children fight doesn't do that...:( )
Emotional Overflow #1: It's OUR Land!!
Lately, I've been feeling two opposite emotions really really strongly. I'm putting them in two seperate posts, 'cause they're really almost opposites, and I'm putting the positive one second, 'cause I want that to be on the top of my blog.
Here goes:
The whole disengagement thing. It makes me angry, it makes me frustrated, it makes me scared. I have family that lives in Eretz Yisroel, where we're all supposed to be, and I want to be there IY"H one day soon. But will it be there by the time I get there? They're giving away one peice of land after another, on the assumption that it will bring peace. (Well...you know what assuming does...oh, never mind...) You can't have peace with someone that wants only to kill you and your people. Past circumstances have proved this, but it's all being ignored. Giving people that hate you the land next door to you is not a good idea, giving the people that hate you your brother's land and telling him to beat it is positively stupid!!
Which leads me to another rant...and I feel quite strongly about this-if we would make an attempt to get along with each other, I really really believe that things will improve. It's like Hashem is saying "You can't live together in My land? Then leave!" And it doesn't apply only to the charedim vs. chilonim. It has to do with US-wherever we are, in whatever countries. Just because your next-door neighbor is Modern Orthodox, or Chasidish, or Yeshivish or whatever doesn't mean that you have the right to mock him, his customs, and his way of life. Those of us who are following the Torah should work on following the Torah better, to the best of our ability-'cause THAT'S what we're here for-to serve Hashem!! Not to prove that our way is better!! So could we maybe maybe maybe try to get along?
We all need Moshiach sooooo badly. And the fastest way for him to come is to show Hashem that we're ready. I don't have the words to it now, but I once read a poem about Moshiach coming. He goes to a whole bunch of shuls, where they tell him that he can't be Moshiach, 'cause he's not wearing a black yarmulka/knitted yarmulka/black hat/streimel, etc. So he says "never mind", and leaves. Are we doing that??? Are we making an effort not to do that? Are we making an effort to make a Kiddush Hashem in the world? Or are we airing our dirty laundry where everyone can see it?
(No, I don't think the first and second rants contradict each other. I don't HATE the people who are arranging the disengagement. I think that they have preconcieved notions about the people they're kicking out and don't feel like they're brothers, and that's why they think it's okay!! If we'd attempt to show them Torah and the whole concept that places like Kever Rochel are HOLY and should not be given to the people who destroyed Kever Yosef, maybe thing'd be different...)
Here goes:
The whole disengagement thing. It makes me angry, it makes me frustrated, it makes me scared. I have family that lives in Eretz Yisroel, where we're all supposed to be, and I want to be there IY"H one day soon. But will it be there by the time I get there? They're giving away one peice of land after another, on the assumption that it will bring peace. (Well...you know what assuming does...oh, never mind...) You can't have peace with someone that wants only to kill you and your people. Past circumstances have proved this, but it's all being ignored. Giving people that hate you the land next door to you is not a good idea, giving the people that hate you your brother's land and telling him to beat it is positively stupid!!
Which leads me to another rant...and I feel quite strongly about this-if we would make an attempt to get along with each other, I really really believe that things will improve. It's like Hashem is saying "You can't live together in My land? Then leave!" And it doesn't apply only to the charedim vs. chilonim. It has to do with US-wherever we are, in whatever countries. Just because your next-door neighbor is Modern Orthodox, or Chasidish, or Yeshivish or whatever doesn't mean that you have the right to mock him, his customs, and his way of life. Those of us who are following the Torah should work on following the Torah better, to the best of our ability-'cause THAT'S what we're here for-to serve Hashem!! Not to prove that our way is better!! So could we maybe maybe maybe try to get along?
We all need Moshiach sooooo badly. And the fastest way for him to come is to show Hashem that we're ready. I don't have the words to it now, but I once read a poem about Moshiach coming. He goes to a whole bunch of shuls, where they tell him that he can't be Moshiach, 'cause he's not wearing a black yarmulka/knitted yarmulka/black hat/streimel, etc. So he says "never mind", and leaves. Are we doing that??? Are we making an effort not to do that? Are we making an effort to make a Kiddush Hashem in the world? Or are we airing our dirty laundry where everyone can see it?
(No, I don't think the first and second rants contradict each other. I don't HATE the people who are arranging the disengagement. I think that they have preconcieved notions about the people they're kicking out and don't feel like they're brothers, and that's why they think it's okay!! If we'd attempt to show them Torah and the whole concept that places like Kever Rochel are HOLY and should not be given to the people who destroyed Kever Yosef, maybe thing'd be different...)
Monday, June 20, 2005
Yiddish, anyone? OR Yay Mindy!
I was wondering if there's anyone who could help me. I'm translating something from Yiddish for my work, but there's a minor problem. I don't speak Yiddish..at all :/ B"H, my father does, and he's helping me with it, but there were still a few words that we couldn't get. How many do you know?
קוילען
קינסטלער
פארלעגער
אפגשטעלט
ערן וועד
פלאטע
ציפערן
בירגער
קוילען
קינסטלער
פארלעגער
אפגשטעלט
ערן וועד
פלאטע
ציפערן
בירגער
Edit: I've got 'em all, thanks to Mindy-see, that chasidish education is definately worthwhile! ;)
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Desiring to Desire vs. Longing for the Longing
In this past week's parsha, in the description of the the complaints of the Eirav Rav, the pasuk uses a very interesting double lashon. Loosely translated, the phrase used means "and they desired." It continues on to discuss how they complained because they weren't getting meat in the desert.
If translated literally, however, the phrase means "and they desired desire." What does this mean?
1. The mon was purely spiritual. As such, it elicited no forbidden ta'avos within the people. The particular people who were complaining literally wanted "desire," those forbidden ta'avos that come with eating the same physical nourishment that animals do.
2. The people wanted to find something to complain about. So they worked themselves up, searching for something that they could twist to their purposes. They discovered a few things lacking from the otherwise endless choices in the mom, and grabbed that as their excuse to complain. They tried to build in themselves a desire to do bad, and succeeded.
It just struck me, cause I find myself doing that sometimes. There're times when I don't really care either way about doing something, but I want to want to do it, so I work myself into it. For bad things AND for good things.
Think about it. The next time you're ambivalent about something, consider: Is it something you just want to create a ta'ava for? Or is it something that you want to build a ratzon for within yourself, because it coincides with the Ultimate Ratzon....?
There's a stone in the place where my heart used to be
And I'm longing for the longing once again
There's a small subtle trace of my sincerity
And it only comes to taunt me now and then...
Gut voch and shavua tov.
If translated literally, however, the phrase means "and they desired desire." What does this mean?
1. The mon was purely spiritual. As such, it elicited no forbidden ta'avos within the people. The particular people who were complaining literally wanted "desire," those forbidden ta'avos that come with eating the same physical nourishment that animals do.
2. The people wanted to find something to complain about. So they worked themselves up, searching for something that they could twist to their purposes. They discovered a few things lacking from the otherwise endless choices in the mom, and grabbed that as their excuse to complain. They tried to build in themselves a desire to do bad, and succeeded.
It just struck me, cause I find myself doing that sometimes. There're times when I don't really care either way about doing something, but I want to want to do it, so I work myself into it. For bad things AND for good things.
Think about it. The next time you're ambivalent about something, consider: Is it something you just want to create a ta'ava for? Or is it something that you want to build a ratzon for within yourself, because it coincides with the Ultimate Ratzon....?
There's a stone in the place where my heart used to be
And I'm longing for the longing once again
There's a small subtle trace of my sincerity
And it only comes to taunt me now and then...
Gut voch and shavua tov.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
My job(s)
Very cool!! I'm working in two rare books libraries-one volunteer, one paid. I've only started the paid one, but just being in the environment is awesome!! Lots 'n lots of really old stuff, artifacts, letters, stuff like that. Nothing Jewish (that's what the volunteer one is for), but still pretty exciting.
I said nothing Jewish, but I managed to find something ;) One of the archivists is writing a book, and asked me to translate something for him for the book (= credit line for me when it's published! :) ). He thought it was Hebrew, turns out it's Yiddish....so I'm sorta learning Yiddish on the spot so I can do this. It's one of the five or so languages (including Arabic, French, German...) that I'm gonna need to know anyway, so better start early!
B"H. It was a good week. Even when it didn't seem that way. :)
I said nothing Jewish, but I managed to find something ;) One of the archivists is writing a book, and asked me to translate something for him for the book (= credit line for me when it's published! :) ). He thought it was Hebrew, turns out it's Yiddish....so I'm sorta learning Yiddish on the spot so I can do this. It's one of the five or so languages (including Arabic, French, German...) that I'm gonna need to know anyway, so better start early!
B"H. It was a good week. Even when it didn't seem that way. :)
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Cheap Flights to London?
Anyone? I have a wedding in July that I would really really really love to attend...but I can't afford more than $600 on a ticket right now...and Czech Air is not an option ;)
Any ideas?
Any ideas?
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Lessons from my past?
So I've gotten through all my notes from high school, and I'm up to seminary. In fact, I have been up to them for the past two weeks or so...but I'm afraid to review them. I'm not where I was, and I don't like it, but apparantly it's not affecting me enough to change myself...
It's a yucky day.
(Although...I got a job today in the Rare Books Library!! ;) There's always something good...and yes, I know y'all are soooooo jealous...)
It's a yucky day.
(Although...I got a job today in the Rare Books Library!! ;) There's always something good...and yes, I know y'all are soooooo jealous...)
Stagnation
What happened to the little girl
Who dreamed a thousand dreams she didn't keep?
Who woke up in the middle of a nightmare,
She was drowning in her sleep.
She had sold her dreams for cheap.
....
And as I cry all alone
Inside a frenzy of struggle and pain I would scream
PLEASE let me dream again (dream again..)
Please fill me with dreams once again,
And the strength to change...
-Big Dreams, Julia Blum
Who dreamed a thousand dreams she didn't keep?
Who woke up in the middle of a nightmare,
She was drowning in her sleep.
She had sold her dreams for cheap.
....
And as I cry all alone
Inside a frenzy of struggle and pain I would scream
PLEASE let me dream again (dream again..)
Please fill me with dreams once again,
And the strength to change...
-Big Dreams, Julia Blum
Saturday, June 04, 2005
ברכת המדינה vs. קריאת התורה?
Bracing self, taking a deep breath, preparing for all the attacks...
I go to shul pretty regularly, especially since I restarted my Shabbos morning chavrusa. Something's been bothering me a lot, and since this can be a venting ground for me, here goes:
I don't have a problem with the ברכת המדינה per se. I think it's a wonderful thing and that we should daven for ארץ ישראל and our people. What gets me frustrated is the lack of consistancy involved with it.
We usually have a תפילה for חולים during שביעי. In general, during קריאת התורה, there is always a bit of talking (only on the men's side in my shul, which I find rather fascinating...), but it usually ends at ברכו, when everyone does their quick shifting in their seats to complete the ברכה. The תפילה for חולים, however, seems to become free-for-all talking time.
Inerestin.'
During the Haftorah, however, it's different. Then, apparantly the need to talk is too great, and is so important, that many of the men actually leave the sanctuary to go and discuss their very important matters in the hallway.
Also inerestin.'
After all the laining is the ברכת המדינה et al. Suddenly everyone is back, standing, alert, quiet, and at attention. That's pretty incredible. The תפילה for חולים is not that important, the Haftorah is not that important, but suddenly this new תפילה, which has been introduced fairly recently and is fairly controversial, is more important even than the תורה and the words of the נביאים?
Again, I have nothing against the actual תפילה. It's just the hypocracy that goes along with it that frustrates me.
/rant
I go to shul pretty regularly, especially since I restarted my Shabbos morning chavrusa. Something's been bothering me a lot, and since this can be a venting ground for me, here goes:
I don't have a problem with the ברכת המדינה per se. I think it's a wonderful thing and that we should daven for ארץ ישראל and our people. What gets me frustrated is the lack of consistancy involved with it.
We usually have a תפילה for חולים during שביעי. In general, during קריאת התורה, there is always a bit of talking (only on the men's side in my shul, which I find rather fascinating...), but it usually ends at ברכו, when everyone does their quick shifting in their seats to complete the ברכה. The תפילה for חולים, however, seems to become free-for-all talking time.
Inerestin.'
During the Haftorah, however, it's different. Then, apparantly the need to talk is too great, and is so important, that many of the men actually leave the sanctuary to go and discuss their very important matters in the hallway.
Also inerestin.'
After all the laining is the ברכת המדינה et al. Suddenly everyone is back, standing, alert, quiet, and at attention. That's pretty incredible. The תפילה for חולים is not that important, the Haftorah is not that important, but suddenly this new תפילה, which has been introduced fairly recently and is fairly controversial, is more important even than the תורה and the words of the נביאים?
Again, I have nothing against the actual תפילה. It's just the hypocracy that goes along with it that frustrates me.
/rant
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
A message to all you theatre people (I know you're there...)
I've been getting a lot of hits recently from searches for things like "Julia Blum", "Shomer Shabbos Theatre", "frum acting", etc. I'm not sure exactly how BlogPatrol works-if it just shows me when Frumactress has been clicked on in a Yahoo, Google, MSN, etc. search, or if it shows that I've been linked just when someone searches for the terms-whether they click on the site or not.
Either way, if you are there, EMAIL ME!! Frumactress at gmail....'cause I knew I'm not the only person out there who needs to act, and all you searchers confirmed it, and it's really hard to start a theatre program for frum girls on my own...so please? I'd love to talk to you!!
Either way, if you are there, EMAIL ME!! Frumactress at gmail....'cause I knew I'm not the only person out there who needs to act, and all you searchers confirmed it, and it's really hard to start a theatre program for frum girls on my own...so please? I'd love to talk to you!!
Monday, May 30, 2005
I've been tagged!
Just got back from a whirlwind, spur of the moment trip to my aunts' (the one with the secret passageway in her house ;) ) and found that I've been tagged by en to do RandomActsofKindnesses.
I originally found the definition on survivor's blog:
RAK (rak) n. a random act of kindness done out of the goodness of one's heart, the act of helping others, Etymology: Yiddishe Mamma
Whoever started this, I like it! ;)
1) Didn't get upset at all when everyone else thought I would. In fact, I was quite nice! (והמבינה תבין)
2) Didn't talk back to avoid an argument and just did as she said (and no, "she" wasn't my mother)
3) Called my PiT-on TIME, and changed the book we're gonna learn BEFORE she bought it so she doesn't see the awful editing (or lack thereof) that I found.
4) Called someone else about the elusive Rivka (who I think might be going by Rebecca these days), with whom only I can relate, from what I understand. I still havn't called her, but I need to figure out the situation first...
5) Finished cleaning up the kitchen so my mother wouldn't have to when she got home
I'm tagging:
Stx (you knew you would be ;) )
Ger-ish (although you've been gone for a while-I guess now is peak grading time)
Karl
I originally found the definition on survivor's blog:
RAK (rak) n. a random act of kindness done out of the goodness of one's heart, the act of helping others, Etymology: Yiddishe Mamma
Whoever started this, I like it! ;)
1) Didn't get upset at all when everyone else thought I would. In fact, I was quite nice! (והמבינה תבין)
2) Didn't talk back to avoid an argument and just did as she said (and no, "she" wasn't my mother)
3) Called my PiT-on TIME, and changed the book we're gonna learn BEFORE she bought it so she doesn't see the awful editing (or lack thereof) that I found.
4) Called someone else about the elusive Rivka (who I think might be going by Rebecca these days), with whom only I can relate, from what I understand. I still havn't called her, but I need to figure out the situation first...
5) Finished cleaning up the kitchen so my mother wouldn't have to when she got home
I'm tagging:
Stx (you knew you would be ;) )
Ger-ish (although you've been gone for a while-I guess now is peak grading time)
Karl
Thursday, May 26, 2005
The Price You Pay
For Rivka. I don't know you, but I know how you feel. "When G-d gives you a gift, you are obligated to use it. Use it to bring GOODNESS into this world and HONOR to the One who gave it to you." Remember that and email me if you actually read this...
Trained monkeys at a photo session
Smiling for the camera
You can learn to do it to if you agree to pay the price
You think you're great if someone calls
You think you're awful if they don't
Let your self-esteem depend upon the rolling of the dice
But that's the price you pay for the money and applause
It's the price you pay for the fun and fame because
You ordered pain for twenty without looking at the bill
Now the fun isn't funny anymore...
Well they'll cheer when you win
And then they'll cheer when you lose
And when you marry and divorce and when the wrinkles crowd your face
You're an overnight success except it took you 15 years
They'll love you now, till next month when someone younger takes your place
But that's the price you pay for the money and applause
It's the price you pay for the fun and fame because
You ordered pain for twenty without looking at the bill
Now the fun isn't funny anymore...
It isn't difficult to smile 87 times a day
If that's the way you get attention and the way you pay your bills
It doesn't mean that you are happy or you're greatful to be living
You could fool the fans in Philly; I'd a heart that never filled
But that's the price you pay for the money and applause
It's the price you pay for the fun and fame because
You ordered pain for twenty without looking at the bill
Now the fun isn't funny
And the fame...ain't such a thrill
By: Julia Blum
Trained monkeys at a photo session
Smiling for the camera
You can learn to do it to if you agree to pay the price
You think you're great if someone calls
You think you're awful if they don't
Let your self-esteem depend upon the rolling of the dice
But that's the price you pay for the money and applause
It's the price you pay for the fun and fame because
You ordered pain for twenty without looking at the bill
Now the fun isn't funny anymore...
Well they'll cheer when you win
And then they'll cheer when you lose
And when you marry and divorce and when the wrinkles crowd your face
You're an overnight success except it took you 15 years
They'll love you now, till next month when someone younger takes your place
But that's the price you pay for the money and applause
It's the price you pay for the fun and fame because
You ordered pain for twenty without looking at the bill
Now the fun isn't funny anymore...
It isn't difficult to smile 87 times a day
If that's the way you get attention and the way you pay your bills
It doesn't mean that you are happy or you're greatful to be living
You could fool the fans in Philly; I'd a heart that never filled
But that's the price you pay for the money and applause
It's the price you pay for the fun and fame because
You ordered pain for twenty without looking at the bill
Now the fun isn't funny
And the fame...ain't such a thrill
By: Julia Blum
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Book Review
A note: I stopped reading most fiction a while ago (with the exception of pretty much one series ;) ), mainly because of bad quality, bad content, and the fact that real life (or real
history) is sooooo much more interesting.
history) is sooooo much more interesting.
I just got the newest book in the midos series by R' Baruch Chait and Gadi Pollack. As usual, I'm so impressed, and I just want to share it. There're three books so far, about the journey of the travellors of the Gaavatanic and their trails and travails. It's pretty cool, because it has absolutely beautiful drawings, and the lessons it teaches are really real. Using the אורחות צדיקים as its "main source of reference," the books talk about Midos, something very apropos for during Sefira. It shows how character traits can be good or bad, taken to either extreme, and describes how NOBODY can be perfect without working on themselves. Not all of the Midos are "good" or "bad" per se, it's just how and when they're used that makes all the difference.
And I'm a sucker for pretty pictures :)
Another note: I just figured out how to post pics, but not how to combine them with text...if anyone knows, please let me know! Thanks!
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