Tuesday, May 03, 2005

The Grass is Definately Always Greener....

I hate dating. I hate it. I hate the decisions, I hate meeting random people I don't know, I hate having polite discussions while my brain is screaming "TAKE ME HOME!!" I hate hurting people's feelings, I hate giving the wrong impressions. Grrr....

Is there an alternative? Not yet. I agree that hanging out with the opposite gender l'lo tachlis (for no purpose) is not a good plan for anyone-there's no question that boys and girls are different and you can't pretend that they're the same. Cause they're NOT. They don't think the same things, they don't act the same ways....one's from Mars, and one's from Venus!

So what's the point of this rant? There really isn't any. I'm just thinking...if I had a sit-in, if I knew that I HAD to marry this person because that's who my parents chose, would it be easier? I wouldn't have to decide on anything-cause I'd know that there'd be no alternative waiting out there, so I'd just have to make the best of it. Would that be easier for my troubled brain? Hmmm....

8 comments:

SaraQ said...

My dear frumactress,

Even if in the situation of a sit-in you would still have the oppotunity to say NO!! That would be terrible if you would have to spend the rest of your life with someone just trying to "make the best of the situation" each day of your life...

Dating is yucky...

One more thing: Don't read "Splitting the Red Sea" (a book of shidduchim stories) all in one day. You become very cynical and don't enjoy the stories so much.

Eli7 said...

TRW, I sympathize. I have similar sentiments and no answer. And though I have been known to express support for arranged marriages as a viable alternative, well, I'm not so sure it would actually work. (Though sometimes, I'm not so sure it's such a bad idea...) Until someone figures out a better system, all I can say is good luck.

Mindy said...

I got married as a result of a sit in. It's got it's plusses and minuses. The plus: No shidduch dating heartache. The minus: Far more difficulties in early marriage. I 'dated' my husband while we were already married, get it? BH it worked out, I was luckY :)

TRW said...

I know it's different-I don't honestly think I could handle a sit-in just 'cause I was raised in a totally different world. Hence the title of this blog. But I just wish there weren't issues...I've hurt someone very close to me (and someone that I've barely met) because of this...and it couldn't have been avoided. I just feel yucky about it.

leati said...

Feeling "yucky" about it for a little bit is better than being miserable the rest of your life being married to someone you didn't choose. As soon as the "yuckieness" fades it'd be replaced by remorse and anger - I'm very happy you have a clear head now (before the fact!). It'll get better - if not sooner then later... but sometime.

Karl said...

I totally agree. Sometimes I wish it was just given to me on a plate - here is who you will marry, all IS GOING to be ok. But I know that if it were that way it would be worse.

If I see its not going to work out, I have a few tricks to turn her off me, so when its over she doesnt feel too bad.

You'll get there in the end. Patience is a virtue!

EN said...

On the point as usual. May all our worries come to an end bekarov.

The Rabbi's Kid said...

TRW,

I think for most of us an arranged marriage would be a nightmare. As for alternatives for shidduchim, there are always ways of meeting nice guys like us - shiurim, hanging out, shabbos meals, etc.

We are here waiting to meet you!

Good luck.

TRK