Shabbos #4-Parenting

People are so interesting. It's a little frustrating having to find a place for Shabbos every week, but it's soooo nice to learn from people and to absorb all that they have to offer.

This Friday night I spent with a couple that had two children, and I learned about parenting. About patience and love. About teaching independance to a three year old that wants only to be supported. When a parent combines the "You can do it" and the "I love you" to a crying child that wants to be lifted onto a chair instead of climbing on herself, the child learns to grow on her own, while being reassured that, if she really needed it, help would come.

The child's teacher had told the parents that the child was afraid to try new things at school; afraid to do things without help. So the parents took the teacher's advice, took the advice of someone that they felt knew better than them, and acted on it. It was crystal clear that they love their daughter (and son ;) ). They want to give their children everything. But if giving a child too much will stunt the child's own growth, then they will hold back things from the child in order to let her grow on her own.

And it was a lesson to me. The Father, the Ultimate Parent, when He says "No", He's not out to harm us. He's saying "you can do it yourself" and "I love you" at the same time, as this mother was. And if we keep that in mind when things are hard, perhaps we'll have that wonderful smile that this girl had on her small, beautiful face when she finally did what she had been convinced that she could not do.