Thursday, May 19, 2005

Lessons from my past #3

רבי יהושע בן קרחה אומר: כל הלומד תורה ואינו חוזר עליה, דומה לאדם שזורע ואינו קוצר
"R' Yehosua ben Karcha says: Anyone who learns Torah and does not review is similar to a man who plants and does not reap." (Sanhedrin 99.)

So I've found. I knew so much when I was in high school (ironic though that sounds). I had chazals at my fingertips, I could quote from probably 3/5 of Chumash, I knew every Navi that I'd learned, often more so than my brothers (cause they don't learn Navi in Yeshiva for some unknown reason..).

And now? Now I don't learn..much. I try to, but I don't have the obligation that a man does, so if I have a paper/exam/anything else, I'll work on that instead. It's actually quite sad. Now that I'm on vacation, IY"H I'll be able to learn again. I've been listening to lots of stuff online, which eases it somewhat, but I want to learn something inside-I want it to be MY Torah, that I've learned on my own-not something that I've heard in a lecture.

(Tangent..) There's such a big difference between a lecture and a class. Lectures are where people talk at you, feeding you information. In a class, you are part of the conversation, and therefore what you learn becomes part of you. I've learned that college courses are lectures. My Bais Yaakov courses were classes. For that, I'm grateful.

9 comments:

defen said...

I hate that feeling of wanting to quote a chazal, but not remembering the words. Or remembering the words, but not remembering the context. The "real world" makes me feel so ignorant.

One of the most jealous moods I've been in within the last year was when I was sitting in camp with two friends who had gone to seminary and a third who was going after the summer. They were listening to a class given by a certain teacher, and pausing the tape every now and then to discuss it. I felt very ignorant, and unable to catch on as fast as they could - I felt like my brain was just moving at a slower speed than theirs. Could be I was just tired, but... I won't forget anytime soon how empty it felt inside.

EN said...

What you write is so true that it hurts. you have answered a question of mine (indirectly) What is there to know about torah once you know it all...? Thank you.

TRW said...

Defen-Exactly! I have all these Sefarim on my shelves..I just need to open them! And the longer I wait, the harder it'll be...

EN-Can you ever know ALL of Torah?

Keren Perles said...

Ahhh....so THIS is what you meant. Well, hopefully soon we'll be able to fix all that?

EN said...

"Ve'ahavta leracha kamoch", the rest is just a pirush. (see, all on one foot) ;)

TRW said...

EN-If you go learn the Nesivos Shalom's intro to Pirkei Avos, you'll see how true that really is...because Derech Eretz (meaning midos) must come before you can learn Torah (hence, קדמה)
Thanks Stx! ;)

EN said...
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Keren Perles said...

Lol, no prob. Right back atcha!

[TRW and I are study buddies...Can't wait til our lil "chavrusa" session tonight!]

TRK said...

TRW,

Enjoy the shteiging. I found a lot of shiurim were like lectures, frustrating because I wanted to jump in and ask a plethora of questions, both relevant and irrevelant, or worse bcasue the Rabbi was basically reciting something I could've read in a book in 5 minutes.

TRK