Sunday, August 15, 2004

On dating

Not that I would know...but I was reading through some of the profiles on one of those websites (which, incidentally, I don't think should be available to those that aren't signed up-like me, because all I'll do is analyze:), and everyone says the same thing: "I'm ortho but I don't fit into the box" or "I'm modern ortho because I believe in the importance of secular things as well as Torah".
Well. Just for the record, I consider myself orthodox and I'm proud of it! I know that everything comes from the Torah, so the question of whether secularism fits into that life is kinda dependent on your perspective and priorities. Labels are so silly, cause they have so many different meanings for different people...but then how are you supposed to describe yourself? Dunno..I guess you actually have to go out and meet people rather than just posting four lines that describe yourself that sound the same as everyone else's four lines-"I'm frum, but don't worry, not toooooo frum." In'er'stin'
Love yourself for who you are. If you are okay with where you are going spiritually (as long as you're going up!), you shouldn't need to defend yourself or put down another person's way of life. I really really really hope that's how I act. ('Cept when I play Devil's Advocate...)

5 comments:

Stx said...

Might I suggest that since blogs usually represent an outlet for people's somewhat controversial opinions, that you're not necessarily getting a general cross-section of the population but rather of bloggers? That might explain the "I'm frum but not too frum" profiles: they have issues/difficulties/opinions on different parts of what they see as "typical frum judaism" and so want to spout their ideas in this type of forum.

Does that make any sense?

Devorah said...

Stx—Huh? Dating websites are by no means restricted to bloggers.

TRW said...

Yeah-it was a dating website-not a blog-people put up their profiles (aka how they want to be presented to potential mates, shadchanim, etc) and include in them info about themselves. That's why it frustrated me-becuase they want to represent themselves in a few lines and do it by saying what they aren't and why...which is kinda confusing..(who ARE you Raizel? ;) )

leati said...

People who put down "Orthodox but don't fit in the box" should just call themselves MODERN Orthodox. That IS their box. I hear what stx is saying - the people on the public dating sites are all the same "type" - people always online with blogs. How else do they have time to not only browse the profiles, but also actually go through the process of signing up? It isn't worth it for someone who goes online once a month.

I also don't get why the profiles are public. I don't understand why some people would want their picture for anyone to see/find/photoshop... Some are nuts, others are lucky - but these are something else.

Stx said...

Hmmm Leati, thanx for agreeing with me...But I'm not sure I'm with you on that "just call yourself Modern Orthodox" bit. The problem is that MO means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and people are loathe to put themselves into a box that isn't them. For example, someone who is scrupulous about Halacha but grew up in a society that called themselves MO but used that as an excuse NOT to follow halacha...Well, they wouldn't want to put themselves in the same box, would they? There's a HUGE spectrum of MO, and it means different things to different people, so to say "I'm MO" could give a lot of people the wrong impression...